A UNIT OF THE GALA FOUNDATION

Thursday, April 30, 2009

MELODY WILL GIVE BIRTH ANY DAY NOW!


JOAQUIN MALDONADO GOES TO TBN TODAY


Joaquin Maldonado will be taping at TBN today where he will appear on the popular "Praise the Lord" Television program that airs on TBN. At press time, Joaquin will speak to a large audience about his lifetime ministry and experiences ith the Lord.At press time, Joaquin Maldonado was due to tape at the the Studios of TBN where he will be a guest at the popular Christian broadcast of "Praise the Lord" on TBN. Joaquin will be giving his testimony and sharing the Word to a large audience. this program will air globally. Joaquin Maldonado continues to remain active in the work of the Lord and has not paused on any of his duties at the church or the radio program that he hosts. Joaquin Maldonado recently stated; "I will continue to do the work that the Lord places in my hand and hopefully, it will inspire others to press on , even in the midst of health ailments. The Family Networks will be broadcasting this show in its entirety as soon as it airs. This will be another opportunity for Joaquin to preach the Gospel to a broader audience. Praise God!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

All in the Facebook family: older generations join social networks



Here is Joaquin Maldonado and his large family. Joaquin recently joined the generation that is entering Facebook. It is very popular now. This article reviews why it is the "In thing" now.Penny Ireland's family is so scattered around the world that Facebook, the popular social networking site, has become the family's No. 1 way to communicate.

The fastest-growing age group on Facebook is women older than 55, Inside Facebook says.

"We call it our living room," the 56-year-old mother said by phone from her home in Houston, Texas. "Everybody can tell what everybody else is doing."
"Everybody" includes Ireland's five kids and her 83-year-oldmother,

who has a Facebook profile she accesses daily, Ireland said.
While online social networks like Facebook, Twitter and MySpace are known hang-outs for younger adults and teenagers, older generations in recent months have been taking to the medium at a faster rate than any other age group, according to industry reports.
Many of these older folks use social networks to keep tabs on younger family members and they often find fruitful connections with their peers after they've friended all of their kids and grandkids, according to an informal survey by Stanford University professor BJ Fogg. Join a conversation on this topic at CNN's Facebook page
The trend is still relatively confined. Only about 7 percent of people older than 65 have online social-networking profiles, according to research from the Pew Internet & American Life Project.
But Facebook's popularity is growing most quickly among women older than 55, according to a site called Inside Facebook, which tracks Facebook's growth.
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There are now about 1.5 million female users older than 55 on the site, the group says -- roughly a 550 percent increase over six months ago. By comparison, membership among people younger than 25 grew by less than 20 percent over the same period, Inside Facebook says.
Facebook now says it has 200 million users, making its user base larger than the populations of all the world's countries except China, India, the United States and Indonesia. Such a vast presence, coupled with news media buzz about all social media, has pushed online social networking to a "tipping point," said Amanda Lenhart, a senior research specialist at the Pew Internet & American Life Project.
Fogg, the Stanford instructor, said the trend has spread outward from college towns, where Facebook was first adopted, and inward from the American coasts. Facebook today has a global presence, with 70 percent of users living outside the U.S., the site says.
"We've reached critical mass where there's been enough talk about Facebook and people have gotten so many invitations from their friends, they're going, 'OK, what is this Facebook thing? I've got to get onboard or I'm going to be left in the dust,' " Fogg said.
Parents who are interested in their kids' online activities contribute to the sharp increase in older users on Facebook, said Linda Fogg-Phillips, a 49-year-old who, with her brother, co-taught a six-week class at Stanford called "Facebook for Parents."
"Parents are finally at the point where they realize this is not going away. They better figure out how to get on it and they'd better figure out how to use it," said Fogg-Phillips, who is a mother of eight in Las Vegas, Nevada. "It's a snowball effect. It's viral in a good sense."
Older people often must overcome fears about privacy issues before they will join Facebook, Fogg-Phillips said. Once they do, they often find unexpected uses for the network, she said. iReport.com: Facebook, Twitter growing pains?
That was the case for Craig Costa, a 55-year-old fly-fishing guide in Park City, Utah, who said family members forced him to join Facebook.
Costa still finds parts of the site annoying, and isn't comfortable having his personal information made public, but he has connected with old friends he wouldn't have otherwise -- including his ex-wife, who now is a Facebook friend of his current wife.
"It's been really interesting because so many people have a connection to me," he said. "I was married before and my wife is now talking to my ex-wife. And some of her old friends are telling old stories about me to my wife. It's just bizarre for me."
Costa said he also can more easily keep up with his 28-year-old son, who lives in New York and also keeps a Facebook page for his dog.
Karen Essman, 61, uses Facebook but said she has trouble convincing her peers to join social-networking sites. They often don't understand the interface or are afraid of scams, she said.
"It's a little bit more difficult for older people," she said.
Margaret Brooks, 63, of Idaho Falls, Idaho, joined the site because there was no other place for her to see her 18-year-old grandson's artwork.
She asked to be his friend online, and at first she worried he wouldn't respond.
"I did think, 'Oh my goodness, I'm old grandma. He doesn't want to have anything to do with grandma on Facebook,' " she said. "But he did, and every time I send something to him he sends something to me."
Joanne Woeppel joined Facebook so she could keep tabs on her 13 grandkids.
But the Web site also has helped the 71-year-old keep up with other people without changing her routine.
"I'm pretty much what you would call a loner. I'm content in my own company. I can find things to do to entertain myself that I don't need to be out and about," she said by phone from her three-bedroom house near Dallas, Texas. "I don't go out to socialize."
A former call center worker and aspiring sci-fi author, Woeppel visits the online social network about once a day. Spending time on Facebook, which she joined in September, helps her feel connected to family all over the country -- especially to the youngsters, she said.
She has family members who live nearby, but says she's found a way to communicate with them in their own language through Facebook.
"Let's face it, kids that age aren't really interested in talking to people my age very much. It's more, 'Hi grandma how are ya? ... Bye!' " she said with a laugh. "That's basically what I get from my grandkids, so if I can engage them through just a little bit of chit-chat [online], it's a lot more than I can get over the phone."

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

FINAL TRIBUTE TO A GREAT MAN




FRANCISCO SERRANO LAID TO REST


Francisco Serrano was laid to rest today in the midst of a stormy day. The early morning hours began with thunderstorms and tornadoes throughout the Pinellas Park area. The dark blue hearse that carried its precious cargo swiftly sped through the slippery Howard Franklin Bridge and was en route to Bay Pines National Cemetery. The bulk of the family were already arriving and were all huddled underneath a metal canopy awaiting the arrival of the Funeral Motorcade.

The silver casket was draped with the American flag, just as it was in the funeral the night before. Pastor JD Simmons directed the service with great dignity and reverence. Pastor Israel Torres began the service by reading a special Biography of Panchito and Ms Vickie sang "Amazing Grace" There was a collage of pictures depicting Francisco in many facets of his long wonderful life.


In the early hours, there was a special visual of Francisco with an audio of his 1983 message to his family. Francisco Serrano declared in the audio that he always honored his parents and he wished that his children would do the same. the audience of approximately 90 people were listening closely to that man that was now in a closed , flag-draped casket in the front center of the funeral parlor. Two large lamps stood in between the glistening casket as Irving Serrano share a few words about his Father. Irving spoke in Spanish and Rev. Israel Torres translated.

Ms Vickie, once again sang one of Francisco's favorite songs; "It is well with my Soul" Noel Serrano delivered the Eulogy and it is posted in its entirety in this Journal. Rev JD Simmons began his message using the scriptures of Psalm 116 "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the Death of his Saints" along with Psalm 23. The Funeral of Francisco Serrano was blessed with a quiet reverence of a traditional visitation of family and friends and culminated with a solemn and moving funeral Service.


The Military Honors at the Grave site was outstanding. There was a wonderful crowd of family and Friends that braved the strong winds and rain to witness the Honor Guard fold the flag and the rifle volleys sounded like cannons echoing thru the large Bay Pines valley. The sole bugler stood erect and played the haunting "TAPS" It was all so very moving and respectful. The Chaplain of the Military spoke a few words and the time came for the family to witness the casket being transferred to the site where Francisco would be placed for final burial.

NOEL SERRANO HONORS HIS FATHER








LOSING A LOVED ONE IS ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT MOMENTS WE CAN GO THROUGH.
NO WORDS CAN ADEQUATELY EXPRESS THE STRONG EMOTION, THE LOVE AND THE GREAT APPRECIATION THAT WE ALL HAVE FOR THE MAN WHOM WE HONOR AND SEND HIM TO HIS REST TODAY..
MY FATHER, FRANCISCO SERRANO WAS BORN IN PONCE, PUERTO RICO ON DECEMBER 17, 1919. HE WAS THE PRODUCT OF A LARGE AND CLOSE KNIT FAMILY. HE WAS A MAN THAT SEEMED TO HAVE DISCOVERED "THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH" THE MANY YEARS OF TOIL AND SLEEPLESS NIGHTS WAS NEVER REVEALED ON HIS GLOWING COUNTENANCE. THERE ARE MANY WHO BEAR THE SCARS OF A LONG AND CRUEL LIFE, EVEN AT AN EARLY AGE, BUT PANCHITO, AS HE WAS AFFECTIONATELY CALLED BY HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY, BORE NO SEMBLANCE OF A LONG AND TWILIGHT STRUGGLE, FOR GOD BLESSED HIM WITH A LONG AND ACTIVE LIFE. IN THE MIDST OF CRISES , CHURCH STRUGGLES, AND FAMILY TRAGEDIES. FRANCISCO SERRANO WAS A VERY FRIENDLY AND OUTGOING MAN . HE EMBRACED LIFE TO THE FULLEST , EVEN IN THE MIDST OF HIS FINAL MOMENTS.
MY DAD HAD A RICH HISTORY OF CELEBRATED ANTICS IN HIS EARLY CHILDHOOD THAT REVEALED A VERY HAPPY PERSONALITY THAT EMERGED FROM A HUMBLE UPBRINGING.. HE WAS ADMIRED BY HIS YOUNGER SISTERS WHO EMULATED HIM FROM HIS VERY YOUTH.
DAD WOULD ALWAYS TELL US THE STORY OF THE TIME WHEN HE WAS AT HIS GRANDPARENT'S FARM, WHEN HE ONCE GAZED UP AT THE HEAVENS AND SAW THE LARGE BIRDS FLYING HIGH ABOVE THE MOUNTAINS OF ADJUNTAS. HE THOUGHT TO HIMSELF "I WONDER IF I COULD TEACH THESE LITTLE BABY PIGS TO FLY HIGH LIKE THOSE BIRDS " MY FATHER, AS A CHUBBY, LITTLE KID WADDLED TO THE NEARBY BARN AND TOOK THE LITTLE PIGS AND STARTED TO THROW THEM UP IN THE AIR. FRANCISCO WAS ACCOMPANIED BY HIS YOUNGER SISTER MINA, WHO SMILED IN CURIOUS GLEE, AS SHE SAW HER BROTHER ATTEMPTING TO GIVE THESE LITTLE PIGS, FLYING LESSONS. THESE POOR LITTLE PIGS WOULD SWOOP UP AND SPLASH ON THE SOFT GRASS. DAD'S GRANDFATHER CAME TO THE FIELD IN THE EVENING HOURS AND FOUND HIS LITTLE PIGLETS SPLATTERED THROUGHOUT. UNDERSTANDABLY,SOME OF THE PIGS WERE NOT FEELING SO WELL. THE GRANDFATHER CRIED OUT,"WHAT HAPPENED HERE"! "WHO DID THIS? LITTLE MINA CAME RUNNING TO HER GRANDFATHER AND DECLARED..…”.PANO, PANO, VOLLA, VOLLA" MY FATHER ALWAYS RECALLED THIS MOMENT WITH A HEARTY LAUGH, THAT WAS IN HIS NATURE. OUR FAMILY ALWAYS ADMIRED HIS WIT, HIS CHARM AND HIS ENDLESS STORIES OF HIS EARLY CHILDHOOD.. FRANCISCO SERRANO ALWAYS ATTEMPTED TO LIVE HIS LIFE FREE FROM ANXIETY OR STRESS. HE HAD BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH IN HIS LONG AND OFTEN TRAGIC LIFE. HE HAD WITNESSED AND SURVIVED SEVERAL PASSINGS WITHIN HIS LARGE FAMILY. GOD BLESSED OUR BELOVED FATHER WITH LONGEVITY OF LIFE. HE LIVED A STEADFAST AND FAITHFUL LIFE IN THE SERVICE OF THE LORD. FRANCISCO SERRANO WAS TAUGHT TO HONOR HIS FATHER AND MOTHER. WHEN HIS DAD DIED YOUNG , HE TOOK CARE OF HIS MOTHER AND YOUNGER BROTHERS AND SISTERS. FRANCISCO SERVED IN THE US ARMY DURING WWII AND RECORDS REVEAL THAT HE SENT HIS MILITARY PAY TO HIS MOTHER.


HE WAS THE PROFOUND PRODUCT AND EXAMPLE OF THE "OLD GUARD" AND A MEMBER
OF THIS NATION'S GREATEST GENERATION
.
GOD BLESSES AN INDIVIDUAL THAT THINKS OF OTHERS BEFORE ONESELF. GOD GIVES PROLONGED LIFE TO THOSE THAT HONOR THEIR FATHER AND MOTHER. THIS IS A TRUE COMMANDMENT OF GOD WITH A VIVID PROMISE. GOD ALLOWED FRANCISCO TO OUTLIVE ALL THOSE WHO OVERSHADOWED HIS MEEK AND HUMBLE PERSONA, BUT BEHIND THE FRIENDLY,COUNTRY LOVING, SILVER-HAIRED, CHERRY-FACED EXTERIOR, WAS A MAN THAT TRULY LOVED THE LORD WITH ALL OF HIS HEART, MIND AND SPIRIT. HE LOVED HIS FAMILY WITH EVERY BREATH.THIS WAS A FATHER THAT LABOURED ALL NIGHT AND ALL DAY TO PROVIDE FOR HIS FAMILY. HE STILL TOOK THE TIME TO BUILD US GO- GO CARTS IN THE SUMMER. HE TOOK US TO THE BEACHES. HE MADE THE TIME TO TAKE HIS WIFE TO TEACH HER BIBLE CLASS, HE TOOK US TO BEAR MOUNTAIN, HE TOOK TIME TO EMBRACE US, TO LOVE US, FOR WE WERE HIS TREASURE. MY FATHER WOULD WAKE UP EVERY MORNING AND KNELT BEFORE THE LORD TO INTERCEDE FOR HIS FAMILY. HE BEGAN PRAYING IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS, THANKING THE ALMIGHTY FOR ANOTHER DAY OF VICTORY. THE EVENING HOURS WOULD FIND FRANCISCO, ONCE AGAIN , ON HIS KNEES PRAYING OUT LOUD FOR HIS FAMILY, FOR THAT WAS HIS CUSTOM.


I WANT TO SAY TO MY BELOVED FATHER, DAD,YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW I FEEL Add ImageABOUT YOU. YOU WERE AN OUTSTANDING FATHER. I AM SO PROUD TO BE YOUR
SON.I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT MARIA AND I WILL ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR
THE
MANY YEARS THAT WE SHARED WITH YOU, FOR THE EXPERIENCE, THE HONOR AND
HIGH
PRIVILEGE OF CARING FOR AND SERVING YOU DURING THE LAST FIVE YEARS. WE
SHARED
PRECIOUS MOMENTS TOGETHER AND OUR LOVE AND APPRECIATION FOR YOU BURNS
DEEP
WITHIN OUR HEARTS. OUR TRUE COMFORT , AT THIS HOUR, IS IN THE
REALIZATION THAT
YOU FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH, THAT YOU NOW GO TO A
BETTER RESTING PLACE
AND THAT WE WILL SEE YOU ONCE AGAIN ON THAT GREAT
MORNING AND WE WILL ALL
REJOICE AND SING THE SONG OF THE REDEEMED. WE WILL
DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE
LORD FOREVER AND EVER, AMEN.

Monday, April 13, 2009

TREASURE THE SON

By Michele Maldonado-Gomez


Before the sun rose on April 8, 2009, my cousin Armando Bosch went home to be with the Lord. Later, on that same day, my Tio Panchito (Francisco Serrano, Sr.) also passed and went home. It was an odd coincidence that took our family by surprise, but we are not shaken with despair. Our sorrow is flanked on one side with hope that we will see them again, and on the other side with joy in the knowledge that their suffering and pain on this Earth is ended. That joy is magnified because we can just imagine the wonderful reception they are getting from our loved ones who have gone before us (Armando Bosch, Sr, Nieves Bosch, Fela Serrano, Hilda Bosch, Lucas Maldonado, Joaquin Maldonado, Sr. [my father's father], Nelly Bosch, Luisa Maldonado, Frank Serrano Jr., Wilson Serrano, Victor Ortiz, Elsie Ortiz, among others). Then there's the ultimate joy in knowing that they are meeting the Great Host of Heaven himself - our Savior Jesus Christ - and will live forever with Him there.Armando and Panchito's lives ended at a very symbolic and sacred time of the year, and even in history. April 8th was the eve of the Jewish Passover, which means as much to us who believe in Jesus as it does to them. We cherish the symbolism of the Exodus and the Passover, when God delivered the Hebrews from over 400 years of enslavement at the hand of the tyrannical Pharoah by sending the angel of death over the land to weaken his grip on them, sparing only the firstborn son of each Hebrew families that had obeyed His orders to sprinkle the doors of their home with the blood of a lamb. In the same way, God has brought us out of our captivity to sin, hell, and death by the powerful blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ. Just as their ancient ancestors crossed the waters of the Red Sea miraculously to safety and the promise of a new life of freedom, we have crossed over from condemnation to salvation. Our sins will not be counted against us when we die. When judgement time comes, we will "passed over" because of our faith in His miraculous and merciful redemption. The Christian and Jewish calendars don't always align, but this year, coincidentally, they do. Passover runs from April 8-16Th. Holy Week started on Palm Sunday, April 5Th and will end on Resurrection Sunday, April 12Th. Although we will be laying our loved ones to rest during this time, we will also commemorate our Lord Jesus' Triumphal Entry into the city of Jerusalem, his Last Supper with His disciples, His unlawful arrest, trial, and conviction, the brutal beatings He suffered, His painful walk down the Via Dolorosa, His sacrificial death on the cross on Good Friday, His descent into hell to rescue the captives awaiting the Messiah, and His victorious conquest of the grave when He rose from the dead! We remember and we worship with humble gratitude, knowing He did it out of love for us, to satisfy our debt with the Father - "The punishment of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 6:23) When He took the keys of hell and death, He rescued us from our eternal fate. We are no longer doomed to be separated from God for eternity. Thank you, Jesus!April 8Th, 2009 also marked another historical occasion that just so happened to coincide with Passover Eve, the Holy Week, and the passing of our dear Armando and Panchito. It was the Jewish ceremony called the "blessing of the sun," when the Jews say a prayer of thanksgiving for the creation of the sun on the fourth day of creation. A TV news report announced the event with the headline ,"Treasure the Sun", which inspired me to write this note. The report explained that ancient Jewish astronomers believe that the Sun returns to the original position of its orbit every 28 years. According to that theory, when the sun rose on of the morning of April 8Th, it was in the same place it was in as the very first sunrise of God's creation. The next occurrence of this anniversary is not due to happen again until the year 2037. Of course, modern scientists dispute this theory because they have since learned that the sun does not orbit the Earth, but vice versa. Many of those same scientists dispute the Creation theory, too, so maybe we shouldn't discredit the Jews entirely. In any case, wasn't April 8Th a remarkable day for the sun? It shone like a warm, summer day, and yet, the air temperature was cold enough for snow to fall! It was such a paradox, as if winter was trying desperately to hold its claim on us. But it was such a light, airy snow that it just blew about harmlessly, raising our eyebrows only, not our fears, because the promise of Spring was evident in the happy, illuminating daylight. Those flakes were short-lived, just like the Pharaoh and all his troops that got swept away with the tides of God's great Red Sea. What Pharaoh can keep the sea from rising? What darkness of night can keep the sun from rising? What devil can keep the Son of God from rising from the dead? And what grave will keep Armando or Panchito from rising in their glorified bodies when the Savior comes to take us up?The images of the Hasidim, the thousands of Orthodox Jews, who gathered at sunrise to pray at the Western Wall of the temple was powerful and poignant. It's awesome that they continue to mark this day and the Passover with such reverence, but kind of sad, too, that they continue to pray for a Messiah that they missed 2009+ years ago. Creation is remarkable, and the sun is a blessing we should thank God for. Every day that we can see the sunrise is a day we should be giving Him thanks. But the greatest, most remarkable blessing of all is the blessing of the SON, Jesus Christ, God's only son, who was sent to redeem Israel and the world. If we would treasure that Son, then our prayers will come into focus and the blessings of eternal salvation will flow to us and the generations that follow.Thanks to the saving work of Jesus on the cross, death has no victory, the grave has no sting. Even the cold winter of this slumping economy will have no hold on us, because we know that our treasure is not here where thieves can steal, or moths can destroy, or germs can infect. Like Armando and Panchito, we know that our treasure is in heaven. That treasure is eternal life with Jesus Christ our Lord, and it is incorruptible!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

PANCHITO: FOR GOD AND COUNTRY



By Noel Serrano

Francisco Serrano was a True Veteran in the service of the Lord. He was also a Veteran for the U.S. Army in WWII It is fitting and proper that he is to receive full military honors in his pending funeral this week.

Francisco loved the Lord with all his heart and dedicated his life to serve his Saviour. He also loved this country and what it stands for. He joined the Army in the1940s and was stationed at Ft Clayton in Panama. It was there that he met Bob Hope at a USO show. Francisco Serrano loved life and embraced people with the love of God. He was truly a man that was dedicated to helping his fellowman. Several weeks ago, he was very interested in the direction that his country was taking and he demonstrated the same passion for the issues involving the military. We will never forget the Service and the dedication of this Noble soul that fought the good fight and now goes on to receive his much- deserved Reward.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

FRANCISCO SERRANO CALLED TO GLORY

By Noel Serrano

Francisco Serrano, the beloved Patriarch of the Serrano family, quietly passed away in his sleep today at Kindred Central Hospital in Tampa, Florida. He was ailing for several months and revealed a quiet inner strength during his struggles with a recent stroke. Francisco surprised his doctors recently, as he showed a strong will to survive and to beat the overwhelming odds. Tonight, the Serrano family has lost their great Treasure. For me, his passing is agonizing. My comfort is in knowing that He lives now in a far better place and that I will be wth him one day. Francisco loved life to the fullest and embraced a capacity to demonstrate an unusual stamina for his age and for his condition.


Plans are now under way for a Military Styled Funeral to honor the Serrano Elder who served in WWII and dedicated his entire life to the service of God, His family and the Country that he loved. Francisco Serrano will be long remembered as a Humble servant of the Lord. He was a Man that never harmed anyone. He tried so hard to help people each day and demonstrated the Love of Christ in every situation. He loved all his ever-growing family. Now he rests in the arms of His Creator and now goes on to receive his rest and his reward. What a Life! What a Man! What a Father and what a Legacy!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

WHEN A FAMILY GRIEVES




After a loss, family members often deal with their grief in different ways. Grief can draw families closer together. Sometimes, it can pull them apart.
No one can adequately prepare you to handle your grief, let alone a spouse's or a child's grief. Learning about grief and how it affects your family can help you get through the difficult times together. It may even help your family grow stronger.
A world upside down
When you're grieving, you tend to be in a state of chaos. Grief throws your life into turmoil. It disrupts routines. Deeply held beliefs can become flimsy in the face of loss.
You can't predict how you'll respond when someone you love dies. Reactions to loss depend on many factors. How did the person die? What kind of relationship did you have with the person? Have you had other losses? How did you deal with them?
It's important to realize that each family member will express grief in his or her own way. There are as many ways to grieve as there are people. Often there are differences in the ways men and women grieve. Women tend to feel more comfortable talking openly about their emotions. Often, women cry more easily than men do. Men, he says, tend to take an active approach to handling their grief. They may, for example, plant a tree or organize an event in honor of the person who has died. But these are only tendencies. Most people draw from both types of behavior. It's important to remember that there is no right way to grieve. Knowing that your parent, child or spouse deals with grief differently than you do can help you understand and support one another during this difficult time.
Through a child's eyes
As a parent, your first reaction to a death in the family may be to protect your child from the pain of loss. Be careful that your protective instincts don't make it more difficult for your child to grieve. Like adults, children experience chaos and loneliness when someone they love dies. They need to know that they aren't alone in what they are feeling. You are your child's role model for how to grieve. Sharing some of your own sorrow can help your child feel less isolated. Seeing adults grieve can help children figure out how they're feeling inside. Your child might be able to find the words to express his or her own thoughts by hearing you talk about your sadness or anger.
Children also need to understand what it means for someone to die. This is the only way they can comprehend what has happened. You may want to ask your children if they know what has happened to their loved one. They often reply, "Grandma's gone to heaven," but they don't know what that means. No one has told them directly that Grandma has died.
It's important to explain what happens to the body of the person who has died. You can tell your child: "Grandma's body has stopped working. Her eyes don't see anymore. Her lungs don't breathe. Her body doesn't feel anything." You may also want to talk about your family's spiritual beliefs at this time. It can help comfort children. It is not appropriate for you to tell their children that the person who has died has gone to sleep. A child may then believe that he or she could die simply by going to sleep.
Parents should also reassure children that they will be OK. Children often fear for their own safety after a loved one dies. They may also fear that their parents may die. Remind children of all the people who love them and who are there to take care of them.
On the path toward healing
Family members resolve their grief at different times and in different ways. The grieving process does not fit into a timetable. Healing from a loss can take a long time. Experts say that it may take years to adjust to the loss of a spouse. Children who lose a parent may process grief in spurts over a period of years.
Soon after a loved one dies, you might feel OK for only a few hours at a time. Eventually you'll have good days, then weeks. Over time, you'll find yourself looking to the future with hope. Once you have accepted the loss, it doesn't mean you've forgotten that person. This is an important point to stress to children. Remembering this can help them - and you - move forward with life.
Dealing with loss
These suggestions can help you and your family deal with grief:
Talk about the person who died. Use his or her name.
Tell stories and express what the person meant to you.
Try to wait at least one year before making major decisions.
Make new friends, and spend time with old ones. When you feel ready, start to do things that will help you look forward to the future.
Accept changes in family traditions. When a family member dies, family roles are likely to change. It may help to develop new traditions to suit your new family structure.
Plan ahead for holidays. You and your family might feel more intense grief around these times.